Monthly Archives: April 2007

Panda and the Eau de Gooch

…this person – and I’ve had a lot of time to think about this and what metaphors to use here – is surrounded by an odoriferous vapour cloud of doom so horrible, so vomit gag inducing, it’s like the stank of a sweaty salt ham stuck inside a pile of old wet moldy hard cover books….!
I mean… it gets you…. gets you right in the back of the throat – it’s like… as if… I dunno – like…. a thousand stanky gooches simultaneously rubbed themselves all up and down your tonsils…!

Dining Table, what what!

Table cloths, placemats and varnish – these things are artificial filters that barricade the connection between us and the immediacy of the moment. Naught but the trappings of pretension, they defy the purpose of buying furniture in the first place – to use it and to let it serve its purpose. I don’t want to stop to think to put down a coaster, or spend hours trying to lay down the perfect streak-free coat of varnish and stain – I just want to kick off my shoes, set down a plain white ceramic bowl filled with a simple food on the table, open my computer, or tear off a sheet of paper and just be.
When the future is uncertain – when my future is uncertain – it is comforting to have this reminder of the my connection to the solace of an immediacy of moments spent in comfortable surroundings, in my little house right here in my little corner of my little city in this little chunk of this little island floating all along and bobbling in the wide vast swath green blue oceans of the uncertain scary world…

Night Photos and Naughty E-mails

Which brings us back to the present, and this gigantic very explicit pornographic image plastered on my screen, right smack dab in the middle of a crowded Japanese office…!

“EERGLPPPFFFHHH!!!!!” I squeak out an incomprehensible sound as my mind begins to register what the frick is happening. “OH MY CHRIST!!!”

“OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD!!!” I stammer-yell to myself as I realise I’m on a Mac and that shortcut doesn’t work. Instinctively I move to hit “window” plus “l” which on a PC will blank your screen and bring you back to the security log on. Guess what it does on a Mac in Entourage. It “refreshes the message list”, which means it has just refreshed this gigantic set of pornographic boobies displayed in my e-mail screen.

Applepanda – The Switch

Okay lots to talk about so let’s get right into it. Last Wednesday I was at work tip-typing away hard core trying to plow through all the stuff I had to finish before the end of the day when my computer – loyal companion for the past 3.5 years – suddenly fritzed once, heave a…
Read More

Boots and Letter Campaign

Hey happy April Fools day! Actually I completely forgot it was April fools day until my Japanese friend reminded me the other day. Being in Japan for an extended period of time makes everything seem like a dream – you tend to forget about things like holidays, anniversaries, even your own birthday – anything that…
Read More