All about bicycles…

My predecessor was kind enough to leave me a bike. Two of them, in fact. They`re very nice bikes, I should add, complete with baskets, and a little cute bell, and one of them even has some sort of jerry-rigged lamp attachment. They are, all in all, two very nice asian style bikes.
Now why the emphasis on asian…? Hmm.. Well, there are certain, idiosynchrocies (spelling…? only one week and already forgetting my english…) about asian style bikes. The first is that they put you way up on the top of the seat. I feel sort of like I`m sitting in an SUV, only without the two tons of protective metal surrounding me. Sort of top heavy, if you will. The second is that they don`t have gears.
Allow me to elaborate on this point. THEY DON`T HAVE GEARS. Somehow, gear ratio technology has managed to elude an entire continent. This became painfully evident the first time I tried to climb up a hill on this little creaking arrangement of tubes. Actually, the chain actually slipped off the gear the first time I tried, due to the incredible amount of stress it was under trying to move my fat ass up that hill.
There is another thing which should be mentioned in this respect. I weigh a healthy (well, maybe not so healthy) 210~220lbs. (yeah, i know, those conbini bentos really start to add up LOL). My bike probably weighs another 25 lbs. My bag, when returning from a trip, weighs another 25lbs. So add that all up and you have 270 lbs of metal, panda and various junk perched precariously high atop a rickety bicycle. A bicycle which is hurtling down some of the narrowest streets known to man, streets which are made of some sort of jagged concrete tiles haphazardly strewn about. Streets filled with pedestrians, mothers with strollers, old men sucking down vitamin drinks and such. Japanese people who are gonna play like I actually have some control over this hurtling projectile of death that I`ve become…!!!
275lbs is about the weight of 5 japanese girls put together. I have absolutely no control over this metal mass as it hurtles down these jagged winding streets, reaching speeds in excess of 30 mph down super steep hills. Brakes…!? HAH!!! Pointless. Ineffective. The only thing I have is this stupid little bell, and I`m ringing it like a mad man. BUT THEY DON`T GET OUT OF MY WAY….!!! Why!? My dear Nihon no hitobito, have you not studied physics? Do you know what will happen to you (or heaven forbid, your small child in his stroller!!! You would think their maternal instincts would kick in….) if we collide?
You will die.
Not much question there. Me too, probably. But they don`t move.
It`s a miracle no one has died yet. But it`s just a matter of time.
I have a business trip to go to tommorrow. *sigh* I feel like a salaryman already.
Now listening to: Something somewhere inexplicably playing Home on the Range.
EDIT: Sorry i haven`t commented on anyone else`s xanga recently. I will do so as soon as I get to the internet cafe again!! (now I`m at work) Thanks for all the comments!!! 10:25 pm

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