Another pictureless post...

Well, I have come to the conclusion that i get paid waaaay to much for what i do, which to date has basically consisted of me grinning like an idiot at my fellow co-workers.

Things I have bought with my first salary since yesterday:

Chicken karage bento at Lawsons - 480 yen
Scotch tape at the Hyakuen Store - 105 yen
Royal Milk Tea from machine - 120 yen
Ketai strap from Comme Ca - 550 yen
Earl Gray tea at the coffee shop - 300 yen
Chicken Curry at CoCo`s curry house - 630 yen
1/4 head of lettuce at Apita - 90 yen

Grand Total: 2275 yen
Total Spent on Food: 1620 (71% of total)

Conclusion? I eat too damn much. I was gonna buy a computer with my first salary... but it might have to wait until next month. On the other hand, it would be nice to know about things like 1) massive black out on the East coast 2) 3000 deaths due to heat wave in France 3) UN HQ bombing in Iraq 4) Blaster/SoBig computer viruses THE SAME WEEK THEY HAPPEN...! I swear, the world could go to war tommorrow and I wouldn`t find out about it until September. *sigh*

On a completely different note...

I now know what a trained dog feels like the first time it rolls over on command. Yesterday (my day off...!!) I had to go in to work, because something needed to be stamped with my hanko, a stamping which apparently had to be done that very second or else the world would end...! So I dragged myself over to school, dutifully stamped my paper (which in their defense, required two stamps of the ol` hanko, front and back, so I guess I can see why *cough sarcasm* it couldn`t wait until tommorrow). Deciding to try and make the most of the day, I sat down at my desk and wrote out a self-introduction for my classes the next week. Of course, since I teach a bunch of juvenile delinquints who barely know their ABCs (the words of my predecessor, not mine!), I thought it might be prudent to write out a japanese version as well. So I do.

Now, my Japanese is passable, but hardly fluent. So while I do manage to hack out a nice little translation, it sort of looks (to my eye) like something a japanese third grader might write after he`d had too much sugar. You know, like three word long phrases at a time, every sentence ended with "desu", an appalling lack of any sort of substance. Your standard jikoshokai, only written in my unique brand of japanese that would cause Miura sensei to grab his head and bang it against the desk with a pained expression on his face. However, just as I had pushed back the first draft to re-write it (you know, this time with compound sentences...!) one of the teachers happens to pass by and spies it. And with a high pitched squeal that temporarily disoriented me, she snatches it up fromy desk....

"SUUUUUUUGGOOOOOIIIIIIII YOOOO NEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" ("amazing") she starts throwing the compliments out at a million miles an hour. Those of you who have been in Japan know what`s coming next:

"NIHONGO JOOOOZUU DESU NEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" ("your japanese is so good").

Ah yes, the bane of every gaijin`s life. I start to stammer out the standard "iie iie, mada mada desu" ("no it`s not, i talk like a retarded parakeet") when she literally snatches the paper away from me and runs off to the teachers congregated in a group over by a nearby table. I chase her, and instantly have a flash back to grade school, when the older kids would play keep-away with your hat or something, and you`d jump up and down in vain, trying to snatch it back from them.

I make one last, desperate leap for my horribly-mangled jikoshokai and miss. The paper gets passed around the group, and I look up from my vantage point on the floor.

I cannot describe the amount of high-pitched squealing and inane compliments that they start flinging at me. From their reaction, you would have thought that I had just written a successful draft for a new Israeli-Palestinian peace accord...!! The standard questions come flying out at a million miles an hour: "where did you learn japanese...?" "you can write KANJI...!!!?" etc. mixed with a thousand "nihongo joozu desu ne!"`s. I wanted to die, wanted to shake them and say "NO! I know my japanese is bad! I know I sound like a 2 year old! I KNOW I WROTE HALF THOSE KANJI WRONG...!!". But it is all in vain. In the end, I simply end up humbly bowing my head, and waving my hand, doing the ol` "iie iie" and accepting all the irrationally inappropriate compliments.

*sigh*

I read somewhere a passage that said something like "Visitors to Japan are often amazed at what they perceive as an overwhelming sense of politeness by its citzens. However, many foreigners who have lived in Japan for a long time often come to regard the superfical politeness and pleasantry as masking a deeper underlying sense of xenophobia on the part of the Japanese."

While I don`t know if "xenophobia" is always an appropriate phrase, I do often wonder why many times Japanese insist on treating foreigners in such a way as to reinforce, either subtly or overtly, their special status within (but not integrated into) Japanese society. Whether backhanded compliments designed encapsulate even the most well educated foreigners in a paradigm that holds them as unable to perform basic of tasks (like communication, eating (using chopstickss, being able to eat "japanese food"), overt statements of discrimination (in many stores, the only signs that are in english are those warning against shoplifting, or advising that the store will not make change, the latter often in a hilarious 8 different languages, including arabic, the only arabic signs I`ve ever seen in this country) or unduly burdensome legal requirements (alien registration cards, though in fairness, this is becoming common in the US as well, unfortunately), Japanese seem intent on isolating and delineating the line between them and us...

Now this point has been covered to death in countless examinations on Japanese society, theories of nihonjinron, and so forth. But what I guess I never read, what I`ve always wondered is, why...? Some of the standard explanations offered forth include things like "an underlying sense of japanese insecurity", "an overarching feeling of guilt and obligation for the mistakes of the past" etc. But I`m pretty sure, that at that moment in the staff room, with a bunch of 40 and 50 year old men and women patting me on the back and complimenting me on the fact that I could communicate at a 3d grade level, nobody was particularly "threatened" by me, nor was anybody cognisant of "the spectre of the second world war".

Is this objectification a sort of built in pattern of interaction, a remnant of a lifetime spent growing up in a highly ritualized society ("How are you Emi?" ; always-"I`m fine thank you and you?")? Or something else? I guess I wonder that if I can know why I am treated in such a way, then maybe I can change it.

Though I guess I don`t really know if I want to change it or not. Sometimes the "gaijin privelage" is nice, the people fawning over you no matter what you do (like I said, just like a trained dog or cute panda), the incessant compliments, the additional leeway granted you in certain aspects of society, the freedom from the mores and strictures of japanese society...

I guess there`s not really a certain conclusion or even point to this post. Just some random, unconcluded thoughts rambling about in my head. Anybody wanna share some insight?

Now listening to: "Rip Slyme - Time to Go"
(too sunny out to be listening to Japanese rap...!)
2:42 am