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Pooping in Japan I - Panda and the J-toilet

So startled and shocked was I by the sudden eruption and splashing of frigid toilet water in my poor nether regions that I involuntarily started, attempting to leap up from my agonizing crouched position, only to have my by-now numb legs and knees cry out in tremendous pain before giving out completely, whereupon I found myself tumbling down in an alarmingly out of control arc at the complete mercy of the unforgiving ministries of that evil bastard gravity, arms flailing out, mouth opening in a long, slow-motion "nnoooOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" which no sooner had left my lips than....



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