fu fuuuu fuuuu….

fu fuuu fuuuuu….. it’s a rainy day today. nothing special going on. And I still don’t know where I’m going in Japan. The Chicago consulate is so slow! (osoii yo!!! – must be pronounced in a rising, high pitched whine).
Hugh G. Rection
(should have your sound on for this one. It’s a video so it’ll take a moment to download)
Kids, I know some of you out there are either entering college, or just finished your first year. Chances are, you’re probably confused about what you should major in. And I’m sure some of you have thought “Hmm! You know, a career in biology doesn’t sound so bad! I mean, I could work with warm fuzzy woodland creatures, tend to beautiful, rare and exotic plants, maybe meet a cute marine biologist (who are marine biologists always portrayed as hot women in the movies?) and move off to some exotic island locale where we’ll work together to save the dolphins/whales/giant sea turtles and make hot passionate love in the evenings under the stars…! Yeah!”
WRONG.
Let me tell you straight up people. Biology (or the particularly innane branch thereof known as “genetics” which I chose to major in) is not the rosy picture of cuddly science they picture it to be on those various glossy brochures they hand out to you when you’re a wide-eyed freshman. I went from dreaming of finding a cure to cancer to dreaming of slitting my wrists and making it all end. 5 years of working in a potato research lab will do that to you. And if you specialize in genetics, my friends, you are in for a ride. A ride which will strip you of your sanity, your free time, and occasionally, your very desire for life. But I suppose this is not in-and-of-itself that unusual. That’s pretty much par for the course for any college major (save the hilariously titled “creative writing”). But you see, the real kick in the arse comes at the end.
Let’s suppose there are two people – Person A and Person B; they both spend 5 years in college. Let’s say Person A elects to spend their five years majoring in Genetics, Biology and International Relations (the latter of which is so hilariously unemployable that we may as well discount it straight off). Person B only studies one thing, Chemical engineering. Now let’s take a look at their (average) starting salaries, shall we?
Person A (biology/genetics): ~$26,000
Person B (chemical engineering): ~$65,000..!!
When I found out that my friend was going to be earning almost three times as much as me starting…! I almost wanted to asphyxiate myself. Of course, she had to rub it in by taking me on a tour of the new engineering building:
Let us compare this to the dark dank dungeon of a biology building where I spent my past five years:
Can you believe it!! ?? I didn’t even know that it was unusual for your classes to be in a dark windowless basement!! I thought that windows were a luxury reserved for tenured staff and famous researchers… scarcely could I imagine that there was actually an entire group of undergraduates who attended class daily in such opulent warm-amber-drenched-aspen-wood-and-brushed-aluminum-panelled glory!! *sits down and starts to fret*
So there you have it folks. Parents, don’t let your children grow up to be biologists. They will face imminent starvation straight outta’ college and be forced to flee to far away lands where, in order to survive, they will be forced to prostitute their meager english skills. Of course, they will still end up better than the poor saps who chose to major in creative writing….
Okay, enough with the whining. :) This was a lame post. I need some new music to listen to. Anybody have any suggestions? (hopefully something nice and trancey)
Now listening to: NOTHING! Somebody help me out! I can’t stand the sound of silence – it allows me to reflect on the empty husk that is my life… :)
11:22 pm

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