Fun at Pottery Barn

I never knew that Madison had a Pottery Barn. Perhaps that’s because I don’t usually spend inordinate amounts of time searching for armoires done in the “early colonial style”. (Usually…) As we have established beforehand, I am more of an IKEA-type of panda, preferring the smooth curves of brushed aluminum and the made-in-south-east-asia-for-pennies-on-the-euro faux-wood laminate surfaces of $5 tables.
This picture covers aproxmiately 25% of the store’s square footage.
But, having been invited to a wedding this weekend, that much-underused portion of my brain responsible for “common sense” piped up suddenly, seemingly suggesting that, *gasp* heresy..! IKEA goods might not cut it when it comes to wedding gifts. So with my friend Risa in tow, (or rather, I should say, with me in tow) off we went to Pottery Barn.
The lovely Risa. Ignore my horrible spackling job in the background.
Along the way, we picked up Risa’s friend Tomoko, in town for the wedding, and all pimped out “ryo te ni hana” style (“a flower in both hands”) I meandered my way into Pottery Barn. I have to admit, Pottery Barn is a relatively inviting place, not nearly as stuffy and starched-undie-uptight as I had previously envisioned it, what with all the warm yellow hues reflecting off of deep woods and luxurious buttery leather couches beckoning me to take a colonial style nap on them. It sort of reminds me of William-Sonoma, only without all the cool kitchen gadgets to play with (I have a weakness for finely crafted copper hand-crank blenders) (why does that sound mildly dirty?)
Tomoko tries to figure out if the camera’s on or not.
The girls set into “wedding gift search mode” with the quickness, leaving me to awkwardly wander about the store in search of something to entrtain myself, occasionally doing my male civic duty and stopping by, offering a deep and insightful “hmmmm…. yes, I see your vision!” with regard to a napkin ring, piece of flatware, or whatever random thing they happen to be holding at the time. (or the occasional “Uuuaaaahhh!! Sugoi…!!”… makes me feel so japanese!).
But I have to tell you. Pottery Barn in Madison is not the same thing as Pottery Barn in Chicago or New York, or San Francisco. For one thing, it lacks a certain air of “big city sophistication”. For another, our Pottery Barn is comprised of aproximately one room. Not a big room, mind you. But a normal, mall-sized room. And when you don’t have any copper cookware or exotic teflon-coated batter folders to keep you company, that’s pretty damn small. So after about 15 minutes, the girls had carefully considered and dismissed three different types of napkin rings. And I had seen the entire store. Three times.
But actually, it wasn’t that bad. Because during the middle of my third circuit around the store, I stumbled across Rustic Pig.
My name is Rustic Pig. All your base are belong to me. Oink Oink.
Now, Rustic Pig in and of himself wouldn’t have been so entertaining had it not been for the fact that I also discovered three little rustic chickadees and an accompanying rustic hen house (chickadee house?). For Mr. Rustic Pig, you see, is aproximately three times the size of said chickadees, which, if you have the mentality of a 14 year old, as I do, is an immediate invitation to re-enact a scene out of “Godzilla-meets-The Three Little Pigs” right on top of a nearby “Allegro Armoire”. So in this fashion, I managed to keep myself busy, until I became uncomfortably aware of a couple of clerks milling about nervously in the background, occasionally clearing their throat in such a fashion as to let me know that they were, in fact, watching, and I had better not make single scratch or dent in the warm rosewood of the …*GASP* *gulp* …$2500 armoire.
You can’t tell but I was actually doing the Macarena… or begging for a doggie treat.
Having noticed the price, I decided to leave the rustic and dramatic life-and-death chickadee-pig struggle at a draw and go entertain myself with things I could afford if I broke. Like Napkin Rings.
Panda practicing to be a hula girl. Girls, start lining up now…!
In the end, we (and i use the term loosely as my input was limited to the above picture *grin*) ended up buying a lovely 4-piece table setting filled with lace embroidered napkins, placemats, napkin rings (not the ones I was pimping, sadly…) and so forth. Wow. I feel so…. adult, what with going to weddings and bringing gifts of placemats and what not.
Hello. My name is Panda. And my style is stiff and unnatural.
Today is beautiful out, by the way. Brilliantly cool and refreshing breeze, dancing fluffy white clouds, luxurious rippling waves of green grass everywhere. I hope it stays like this forever.
Now listening to: “Utada Hikaru – Hayatochiri (remix)” I wonder if this video is available for download? *Runs off to search on Kazaalite….*
10:17 am

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