Grocery lists

[link to grocerylists]
have you ever wondered what other people go grocery shopping for?
Decided I’m going to Green Bay tommorrow; I decided I just can’t afford to be cooped up in this god forsaken little town any longer without some sort of respite, especially with everyone else jetting off to exotic locales for spring break. However, it’s sad when in your haste to flee a small town you end up in an even smaller one. I miss Tokyo…
I watched Leon (The Professional) again last night – I forgot just how damn cool Jean Reno was.
Actually, I saw that his last film Wasabi was being released here in the states on DVD… It wasn’t that great of a film, but it had a nice soundtrack, plenty of that eurotrashy Luc Besson action I so dearly love and of course mr. Reno himself. Oh yes, and did I mention that it stars the beautiful and lovely Ryoko Hirosue?
Maria just spent the last half hour explaining to me the intricacies of the Libertarian Party, why people should participate in anti-war vigils and something or other about CNN internships. This was occasionally punctuated by her getting up to do her laundry. Other than this and one other interesting development in my life (which I’ll get to below), I have been sitting in my “infolab consultant” deskchair waiting for somebody to come up and ask me a question. Today has been a relatively good day, as I have been mercifully spared some of god’s more…. special children and their very very special questions. Yesterday I was trying to explain to a gentleman how to copy and paste some images into photoshop. He was a nice enough guy, but the concept of “ctrl+A -> ctrl+C -> ctrl+V” just seemed to elude him no matter what I did. I watched him press ctrl+Q, Alt+F4, ctrl+z,… copy images and paste them back into the same document they came from, forget to make a selection then get peturbed when nothing was copied, try and put a floppy disk in a zip drive…. by the end it was all i could do to avoid pushing him aside and just doing the damn thing for him. I probably showed him the same sequence 20 times or so. I even made a text file with instructions!!! and placed it on the desktop for him to refer to after I went back to the desk. 2 minutes later, he very sheepishly comes up to the desk. “Yes?” I inquire, my mouth having just started to bite into my by-now-cld sub. “I ahhh… deleted the instructions you gave me by mistake….”. Fortunately for all those involved, my boy Bill jumped in the fray like a tag-team champion and went over and helped the guy. This allowed me to keep from gouging his eyes out, which is a good thing.
As I was reminiscing about this, a very shady character sauntered into the computer lab, holding some random band flyer and wearing what I think to be the bottom half of a gray sweat-pant leg on his head (right down to the elastic cuff on the ankle!). He then proceeded to exclaim “COOL!” in a loud-I-hope-someone’s-gonnna-pay-attention-to-me-and-ask-what-I’m-doing-preferably-a-cute-girl-cuz-i’m-42-years-old-and-can’t-get-play-any-other-way proceeds to start swinging one of the optical mice around in the air, pretending to be all tranced out by the glowing red laser. Now normally I’m a pretty relaxed guy (translation: I’m too lazy to get off my ass and say something”) but in this case, I clearly felt that some John Woo was in short order. However, since Bill had left by now, i restrained the urge to go “code tarter sauce” as John would say, straight off, and instead in my most voicemail-announcement like voice inquired “Can I help you sir?”.
“Naw man, just checkin’ shit out, ya know what I’m saying dawg?” came the cross-culturally-confused reply (this was a very very white dude by the way). Since he had stopped swinging the mouse around when he was talking to me, I decided to leave things at that, as we all need to just check shit out every once and again. So I returned to letting my thoughts wander back to the good old days, until suddenly I became aware of a distinct “click click …BANG SMACK!” sound penetrating the dimly filtering mush of memories sluicing around in my brain. Peering around my monitor, I found the gentleman repeatedly swinging a mouse around by the cord with his right hand, whilst furiously clicking on another mouse with his left. The banging and smacking came from when he would periodically smack the swinging mouse into a nearby monitor. Deciding that at this point even my own lazy inertia had to be overcome, I cleared my throat:
“Can you please stop doing that sir?”…Keeping the mouse rotating at full – SMACK – speed, sweatpants turned to me and inquired “Dude, why you gotta be so ill?” At this point I asked him if he was a student, with the unspoken implication that if he was not, it was time to get out of Dodge, lest I start getting my infolab kung fu style on.
Suddenly he erupted from his seat, flinging the mice towards the ground, tumbling down in matrix-aping rotoscoping slo-mo, his right hand jabbing an accusatory finger in my direction, left clenched into a tight ball around his now-crumpled red-flier. “What the fuck man..!? Why you gotta play me like that? Huh? Why’s the man always gotta try and fuck with me? Fucking republican nazi’s…!”. At this, he sort of started half-backing out of the lab while menancingly waving his hands and talking copious amounts of smack, leaving me behind in extreme puzzlement, trying to figure out a) why he seems to think I’m “the man” (is he aware that i get paid like minimum wage here or what?), b) what exactly a “republican nazi” is, and c) why this gentleman seemed to think he was from “the hood” as it were. My small panda-like brain failing to find any answers, I just sort of sat down, put my head on the desk and took a nap.
Now currently resting my head on top of: The Enigma of Japanese Power.
12:33 am

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