I think it is time for a self introduction, for those of us who don’t know me. My name is Michael. I am a panda.
Like most pandas, I enjoy the occasional snack of bamboo. But what really gets me drooling, Pavlov-style, is that wonderous food of the gods, Tonkatsu. If you don’t know what Tonkatsu is, please believe me when I say, your life is a little less bright for want of that knowledge.
I just graduated from college with degrees in genetics, biology and international relations, as well as a certificate in technical japanese. I do not know anything about genetics. I do not know anything about biology. The only international relation I’ve ever had is with my girlfriend. Also, I cannot speak japanese, technical, or other (>_<).
So instead, I pass the time on a long lazy summer by working. I work in a computer lab. My job entails providing technical support for people who do not know how to print, or, on occasion, informing people that “the computer lab is only for the usage of students or faculty/staff with a currently valid university ID”. Many times these people throw things at me in anger. Also, sometimes I will have to explain to people that copy machines and printers are not the same thing. I try and be tactful and discreet, but often these people also throw things at me in anger.
Sometimes, to get away from the stress of constantly having staplers thrown at me, I like to take a break. My hobbies include sleeping, sleeping on trains, sleeping in bed, sleeping with cute girls, sleeping on the floor, sleeping at work and sleeping in class. I am of the opinion that there are few things in life as relaxing as taking a nice long nap on a sunny hill.
But I have other hobbies besides sleeping. First and foremost amongst these is hanging out with friends. Many of my friends are not what we would term a “good influence”. Actually, they’re usually more like “under the influence”. Not that this matters – they’re tremendous fun anyway! And generally, they, along with the rest of the eclectic cast of my life, provide for a series of comedic mishaps which you can all giggle about here. (This is greatly aided by the fact that god amuses himself by foiling my various plans, like for instance that one time I planned on waiting until class was done to use the bathroom….)
Of course, panda cannot spend his entire life working in a job that makes him want to gouge his eyes out, eating, sleeping and drinking (extensively). He, like many creatures of this earth, needs direction in life. So for this reason, Panda is going to Japan in July, wherein he will become a token American to allow the Japanese to perpetuate their illusion of “internationalism” and assuage their national conscience. He will also be teaching such “natural english” phrases such as “Haro! My name is pencil!” and “All your base are belong to us!”.
But all sarcasm aside, panda is greatly looking forward to going to Japan. He is also looking forward to being able to stop referring to himself in the third person. Thank you for stopping by my web page. I hope you come back again soon!
Now listening to: “Way Out West – Earth (Waveform remix)” (I’m grooving right now in my own head)
12:15 pm

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