Mind-numbing boredom of working at a computer lab until midnight

Why is it that when you wear a tie, every individual you meet feels somehow compelled to ask you “why are you wearing a tie today”? I mean, it’s not as if I’m wearing a bowl of fruit on my head – it’s a tie, for the love of god…! Along the (sort of) same lines, why is it that it is perfectly acceptable for women to wear all sorts of slinky tanktops that show off their shoulders and stomachs, but when guys wear tank tops, its considered trashy? I suppose it all has to do with the relative fitness of the individuals underneath the clothing. *muses on this for a while*
Why the hell does the JET program need to know the glucose and protein concentrations in my urine…!? (>_<)P
Standing in an alcove off to one side from the main examination areas, the medical assistant hands me a sample cup, and in a conspiratory manner whispers “I’m going to need a urine sample” and gestures towards a small restroom.
Having been raised in a family where we were taught not to hand our urine to strangers, I awkwardly took the sample cup from her. Feeling like I should at least try and punctuate the silence with a segue as I moved toward the bathroom, I asked if she had a lid for the cup. Looking flustered for a second, she replied that she did not, but that it wasn’t neccessary. This discomforted me for some reason, but I went in and produced the requisite sample.
Here’s the thing – the only thing more awkward than handing a complete stranger your urine, is handing your urine to a pretty 20-something year old woman. Yes, somehow, during the minute I was in the bathroom producing my sample, my medical assistant (a most capable, but comfortably middle aged individual) was replaced by an equally capable, but most uncomfortably attractive young woman named Claudia. To add insult to injury, Claudia was chipper as hell.
“Here! I can take that!” he chirped, reaching out for the precariously filled vessel in my hand. Having learned from experience over the years that it is best not to share your bodily fluids with attractive women until you at least know them a little better, i instinctively snatched the sample out of her reach and clutched it to my chest – I could feel the warmth through my shirt, which was just gross as all hell.
“Oh, don’t be so shy!!” she cheeped, lurching towards me, hands out stretched, like some sort of out-of-control-mindlessly-cheerful-zombie. I stepped back, but felt the unforgiving steely coldness of the door handle at my back. I was trapped.
Seeing no way out of my current predicament, I gingerly handed the (still disgustingly warm) sample cup to cheerful-claudia, who chirped out a little tone of acknowledgment. I felt intensely discombobulated at that instant, mainly because I had just handed a complete stranger a nice warm open steaming cup of my urine. At least if it had had a lid on it, things would have felt more clinical and I could have disassociated myself from the whole affair. But things were what they were, and not knowing what else to do as she started dipping strips into the cup while I stood awkwardly off to the side, I sort of murmured an apology (“yes, so sorry i just met you and handed you my urine…”) and then preoccupied myself with the intricacies of the temperature control mounted on the wall beside me.
*sigh* what a day…
Now listening to: “Third Eye Blind: Blinded” (I’m stuck listening to the radio – I forgot to load songs on my mp3 player… ARRRGH!)
11:48 pm

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