Turning Wisconsin-ese…

Did you know that buffalo wings and beer actually taste really good together? Actually, I suppose probably everyone in Wisconsin except for me knew that. It’s odd, even though they always serve buffalo wings in bars, I never actually ate them with beer before.
All of which is to say that I am finally, unfortunately, hideously, godsaveme!!! – turning into a pudgy, beer-swilling, greasy-food-eating, football-watching wisconsinite. i must have ingested like 3000 calories last night, between the beer and the greasy bar food and what not. and played the world’s lamest game of darts (lasted a painful, agonizing 28 rounds….) i can’t get out of this god forsaken hell-hole of a state one moment too soon. If any of you have ever watched the movie Dogma, you know the bit in the beginning where Matt Damon and Ben Afleck are bemoaning the fact that they’re stuck in Milwaukee Wisconsin? It’s sort of like that.
Yet, despite my conflicted feelings towards all things Wisconsin-like in nature, there is the creepingly horrifying realization that i’m starting to like it…!!! Images of greater sophistication and glory washing down the toilet as I drink beer out of a communal glass boot and follow it with a big greasy pile of breaded deep fried chicken. (i will put up the less-than-flattering-Essenhaus-pics as soon as STEPH SENDS THEM TO ME….!) I have determined that if I ever utter the words “Hand me a brat, would’cha?” I will immediately commit ritual suicide with whatever sharpened implement happens to lie close at hand.
ah, ah, the sweet, cute, painfully adorable, apple-of-my-eye french girl is coming down the stairs into the lab now. I think it’s time to go now… !
6:50 pm

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